SOTU Live Blog

9:04 HILLDOG IN DA HOUSE

9:14 Joe Biden almost dies coughing.

9:25 Cantor looks like a very uncomfortable statue.

9:27 Obligatory American inspirational story person sitting by Michelle. Called it. Drink!

9:32 The SAT people are going to be calling their congressperson.

9:33 Hmm, looks like your plans to drop out of high school may not work.

9:35 Did he just put colleges and universities on notice? Stephen Colbert gonna sue somebody!

9:39 BP seems to be talking through Obamers mouth hole. DRILL BABY DRILL!

9:40 Barack Obama picks up the objectivist Exploit the Earth vote.

9:41 Mitch McConnell looks like a tortoise watching its eggs get smashed by a giant hentai dick monster: amusingly horrified.

9:42 Another typical american story. Drink!

9:43 WINDMILLS!!!!!!!!!!1111111

9:44 DoD buying green to power 250000 homes or half an aircraft carrier.

9:45 Not sure if it is just CNN but Obama was just shrouded in a divine light. The resurrection is nigh.

9:46 The National Adhesives Lobby would like to complain about Mr. Obamas opposition to the tape industry, in specific his unfounded bias against their red colored adhesive rolls.

9:48 Geithner has a look of profound internal contemplation. I think he just realized what his life has become. By next week he will retire, find his lifetime sweetheart and settle down in western Nebraska where he will take up a life of basketry.

9:50 First he opens more offshore drilling then he reminds us that BP dumped a fuckload out there. Well I guess it was good enough for him to swim in...

9:53 Turn the pageeeeya dunnnn dun duh duh deh de de

9:54 Boehner forgot his flag pin. Awkward.

9:59 Did I just hear a dog bark?

10:00 Barack just got booed for limiting insider trading in congress. Can't wait to see that representative defend that opinion tomorrow.

10:02 Our federal bureaucracy will be better, faster, stronger than before.

10:06 Speaks out about Syria.

10:07 YAY JEWS!

10:08 Nice CNN, zoom in to Liebermans forehead right when Obama mentions a tough stance on Iran. Waiting for him to walk up to the podium and declare the first GALACTIC EMPIRE.

10:15 The State of our Union has potential!

Signing out.

EDIT: Republican Response

10:31 Did he just say that 2012 could be our last year? Does he have information I do not?

10:33 "Steve Jobs, what an appropriate name"

10:34 We need a more affordable safety net. Ask any fire department in America, those things you should not buy cheap.

10:37 A niagara of debt. I don't even have to add stuff to this speech, its full of amusing language.

10:38 We might pick the wrong lightbulb! (Yes, yes you would)

Signing ou...

10:40 What is this shit?

10:41 Leather jacket woman at the national press club?

10:42 Tea baggers in snake skin jacket. Sign me up. This shit just got interesting.

10:42 THE CAIN TRAIN IS IN THE HOUSE!

10:46 Seems to wish we all lived in China. Why can't we have as many jobs as them? Sigh Herman....

10:49 Invents the word "citizenpeople".

10:52 Yeah Obama is really weak on defense.

10:53 Racial innuendos? I am confused.

10:54 Always so angry Herman. But I am too tired for revolution...

10:55 An army of Davids v. the government Goliath, I thought the republicans were against human cloning...

10:56 Question and answer session. Ooooooh.

10:58 Reporter forgets Paul and Santorum.

11:02 The tea party has officially had more time than the republican response. Do they also have more constituents?

11:03 Pro Colbert speech in progress.

11:06 Srsly, that ladies snake skin jacket screams laissez-faire.

SIGNING OUT (not like you'll get an occupy response amirite?)