Another Fine Tale of Sir Lancelot du Lac

A Tale of Lancelot du Lac
By Tyler Beaulieu
Edited by Cheney Larock

And thus did Lancelot twice lay the fair queen, and she said that it 'twas good. Once again did
Lancelot hastily flee Camelot so that he may further quest the Isles of Briton. He went forth into the forests of Northumbria, where I am sure many dragons were slain and many damsels were rescued and many prisons were escaped. He did successfully quest throughout this wilderness for many a fortnight.

Then did Lancelot come upon the Dolorous Castle. Both Lancelot and the Dolorous Guard took a moment to exclaim “Oh, not again!”, before the fierce battle did ensue. And it was then that Lancelot did slay twenty-four knights. His shoulder was wounded, but he continued to wage war on these foes for reasons neither Lancelot nor the Dolorous Knights could truly understand. He headed towards the gate and commanded it be opened. He then realized that the porter had come out to try and stop the fierce battle and had been slain by the White Knight. Thus did Lancelot forever lock Dolorous Castle to outsiders. Lancelot was disappointed, and rode away grumbling about the terrible loot system on that map.

As he rode away, Lancelot did hear the sound of trees snapping in the distance. He looked into the cloudless sky, and there did he see naught but the legendary Dolorous Fucking Gundam. Lancelot then entered clan chat and tried to request help for fighting the fell beast. Unfortunately Sir Gawain was AFK, good King Arthur was busy questing in Scotland and Bedivere was tanking for Sir Percival. Lancelot came to the grave realization that he would be fighting this fucking gundam on his own.

Thus did Lancelot engage in combat with the Dolorous Fucking Gundam. Though he sustained a wound to his shoulder, he did not back down from this most awesome engagement. After many hours of battle, Lancelot did climb into a tree and bravely hid from the fucking gundam. He stayed there for a fortnight, but being a fucking gundam, and not knowing fear or impatience, it continued its search for our hero.

Then, on the fourteenth night of this most unlikely engagement, Sir Lancelot did see an opportunity and jumped from his tree and onto the shoulder of the Dolorous Fucking Gundam and immediately wounded it. He then ran down the arm of the fell beast, and although sustaining a shoulder wound again, continued to storm down the arm of this fucking gundam until he reached its wrist and slit it, causing the fucking energy sword to be dropped. The mighty knight then ran back up the arm and stabbed the fell beast in its weakest spot, its other shoulder.

And thus did Lancelot defeat the Dolorous Fucking Gundam, and there was much rejoicing. He then journeyed back to Camelot in spite of his wounded shoulder. Shortly after arriving, the Queen expressed extreme approval of his defeat of the Dolorous Fucking Gundam and thrice laid him that night. Lancelot wounded his shoulder in the process but proceeded to thoroughly bed the wife of his good friend.

THE END