So 2009 has come and passed and now marriage is officially restricted to a man a woman and a bong. And although the results on number one were not what I wanted, in fact they down right infuriated me, I will move forward, hope for the future and be proud that we got as far as we did. The battle is lost yet the war rages on. Speaking of the war, next years ballot is truly hilarious. These aren't guaranteed to be on the ballot, but they are approved for circulation. If half of these make it we have one juicy election coming up.
An Act to Remove Protections Based on Sexual Orientation from the Maine Human Rights Act, Eliminate Funding of Civil Rights Teams in Public Schools, Prohibit Adoptions by Unmarried Couples, Add a Definition of Marriage, and Declare Civil Unions Unlawful
Michael S.Heath
70 Sewall Street
Augusta, ME 04330
(H) (207) 445-4929 (W) 622-7634
Did Hitler write this? Okay, so I am almost certain to write this type of legislation you would have to have killed either a kitten or a puppy or a baby at some point in your life. If this happens to pass next year I will shit a brick, literally. I'll eat one and push my body to the limit to excrete it.
That being said, I think we have a candidate for a flaming bag of poo on the door step, I have never met a more willing candidate.
Resolve Calling Upon the Congress and the President of the United States to Enact the United States National Health Insurance Act, H.R. 676
Jerry Call
137 Waterman Beach Road
South Thomaston, ME 04858
(H) (207) 596-7784
We could pass this every election and Washington wouldn't listen.
An Act to Regarding Possession and Cultivation of Marijuana For Medical Purposes
An Act to Repeal the Prohibition on Cannabis, Hemp and Marijuana
Donald Christen
65 Shusta Road
Madison, ME 04950
(H) (207) 696-8167 (W) (207) 696-4444
They are written by the same guy so I'll just do these in one go eh? I do on political grounds believe that the government has no right to tell me what goes into my body, kind of my own damned decision. That being said, not sure if I want Maine to stop being Lobster capital of the world and start being the Amsterdam of North America.
An Act to Prohibit Fluoride in Public Water Supplies
Jacqueline Sorenson
81 Falmouth Street
Westbrook, ME 04092
(H) (207) 854-2453
RIPPER
(through his cigar)
Mandrake.
MANDRAKE
Yes, Jack?
RIPPER
Have you ever seen a commie drink a glass of water?
MANDRAKE
Well, no I... I can't say I have, Jack.
RIPPER
Vodka. That's what they drink, isn't it? Never water?
MANDRAKE
Well I... I believe that's what they drink, Jack. Yes.
RIPPER
On no account will a commie ever drink water, and not without good reason.
MANDRAKE
Oh, ah, yes. I don't quite.. see what you're getting at, Jack.
RIPPER
Water. That's what I'm getting at. Water. Mandrake, water is the source of
all life. Seven tenths of this earth's surface is water. Why, you realize
that.. seventy percent of you is water.
MANDRAKE
Uhhh God...
RIPPER
And as human beings, you and I need fresh, pure water to replenish our
precious bodily fluids.
MANDRAKE
Yes. chuckles nervously
RIPPER
You beginning to understand?
MANDRAKE
Yes.
(chuckles - begins laughing/crying quietly)
RIPPER
Mandrake. Mandrake, have you never wondered why I drink only distilled
water, or rain water, and only pure grain alcohol?
MANDRAKE
Well it did occur to me, Jack, yes.
RIPPER
Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation? Fluoridation of water?
MANDRAKE
Ah, yes, I have heard of that, Jack. Yes.
RIPPER
Well do you now what it is?
MANDRAKE
No. No, I don't know what it is. No.
RIPPER
Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and
dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face?
MANDRAKE
(laughs)
Jack, don't you think we'd be better off in some other part of the room,
away from all this flying glass?
RIPPER
Ah, naah. We're ok here. Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to
fluoridated water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt,
flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk, ice cream? Ice cream, Mandrake.
Children's ice cream?
MANDRAKE
Good Lord.
RIPPER
You know when fluoridation first began?
MANDRAKE
No. No, I don't, Jack. No.
RIPPER
Nineteen hundred and forty six. Nineteen fortysix, Mandrake. How does that
coincide with your postwar commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious,
isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily
fluids without the knowledge of the individual, and certainly without any
choice. That's the way your hard core commie works.
MANDRAKE
Jack... Jack, listen, tell me, ah... when did you first become, well, develop
this theory.
RIPPER
Well, I ah, I I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act
of love.
RIPPER
Yes a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I
was able to interpret these feelings correctly: loss of essence.
MANDRAKE
Yes...
RIPPER
I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women... women sense my
power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake, but
I do deny them my essence.
MANDRAKE
Heh heh... yes.
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