Lo, thy asswipe hath runneth dry

This is just a general heads up to any Alfred University students who maybe considering living in the suites at any point, and want to know what is like, let me sum it up.

You'll have an RA. Your RA is being paid one of the highest salaries available to students on campus. Their job? To dole out the asswipe ladies and gentleman. Literally their whole job, right there. To unlock the vault of the most sacred roles of ass wiping goodness. Yet, whenever these services are needed, they won't be there, ever. If you live  in a suite, once a week you'll hear one of your suitemates cry out to the heavens in despair. This familiar cry will tell you all you need the know, thy asswipe hath runneth dry. You'll run to your RA, and they will not be there, ever. I mean that, not once. You go back and tell the damning report to your comrade. Naturally he/she is not in a position to take no for an answer. So you will run to the public bathroom and loot it for all it has. This temporary solution has saved your comrade from a most unwearable pair of briefs. Every week you'll see signs going up telling you to stop stealing asswipe from the public restroom. It is ignored because when you got a man in there who is at the psychological breaking point, there is no other option. Though 1 out of 3 times the public bathroom will have runneth dry as well, usually because of another suite suffering a similar fate as of recent. Then comes creativity in the form of napkins and such. This is usually followed by consoling your comrade, who is in a most unfit state. Never at any point in your life, will toilet paper be on your mind as often as when you live in a suite, because it is a precious commodity. It's only more damning because of the vault filled to the ceiling with the stuff downstairs, the one your not entrusted to enter.

I am really not blaming the RAs, it's not their fault that they have lives and are expected to be available for this stupid mundane tasks at all hours. Really this system just needs some serious altering, because this on demand shit has got to go.

Speaking of asswipe, quantum physics test tomorrow. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

The Rarest of Days

As I posted on Facebook recently, I have 22 pennies on my desk, the newest is from 2010 and the oldest is from 1944. In other news, I haven't left my room much today.

That being said, I'm having a very productive day, I tend to when Benjamin Franklin gives me a 25 hour day. Groovy stuff. Got up this morning, read two chapters of A Brief History of Time. Taught myself basic Python and programmed something that rated buildings on how good they would be at defending against zombies. Then I did my Diff Eq work early and listened to the new Guster album through 4 times, working on the fifth. I figured out how to break up cheese on the irregularly short Wegman's bread to a form that is geometrically desirable. I did my astronomy homework and I wrote five pages of a script for a movie I don't believe I'll ever make. Doing German now, just felt like documenting my once annual day of productivity.

Sic itur ad astra motherfucker.